Nowadays there are far too many divorces because a lot of married couples put themselves first before each other. Did you get married to be served or to serve? If you got married so that your spouse would serve you, then your marriage is heading for disaster, but if you got married to serve your loved one, and make him or her happy, then your marriage will be a success. A lot of men are under the impression that their wives will become their doormats to obey whatever they want. In actual fact they want their will done rather than obey God’s Will. If they do that they are putting themselves in a higher place than Jesus, because Jesus came to serve rather than be served, and He wants married couples to put Him first in their lives. See the following passage:
Matthew 20:28 King James Version (KJV): 28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”
If a man wants to be like Jesus, then he cannot act superior to his wife and believe that his wife is inferior to himself. The same applies to the wife. Jesus washed His Disciples feet as the lowest servant. If Jesus came to serve rather than be served, there is no exception, as no one is higher than Jesus, and both husband and wife must serve each other, as seen in the following scripture.
John 15:20 (KJV): 20Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. Ephesians 5:21: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the God.
If you lose your life, it means that you give up your will and instead want to live to do God’s will and to serve others.
Matthew 10:39 (KJV): 39He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
A Christian marriage is when you put Jesus in first place and the two hearts are joined to Him. It is also good to pray together because those who pray together stay together. When you live first of all for Jesus and you surrender yourself to Him, He helps you a lot because He is at the centre of the marriage. It is therefore Jesus who pours His love into your heart because you have a personal intimate relationship first of all with Him before each other.
When you are united to Jesus Christ, He is the head of the household. When you give your body to Christ even if you are a woman, your body is no longer your own but belongs first to Jesus. It becomes the Temple of the Holy Spirit, which is the Church of God, and therefore Christ becomes the Head of the Church. Your obedience is directly to God before your husband or wife. When you do that the Holy Spirit becomes your intimate friend who teaches you how to obey God’s Commandments. You can’t depend on another person to guide you in your faith but your loyalty is to Jesus first of all. See how Jesus is the only one who is the Head of the Church and has power and authority over everyone:
Colossians 2:9-10 (KJV): For in Him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in Him, which is the Head of all principality and power:
Colossians 1:18 King James Version: 18 And He is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things He may have the preeminence.
You are able to give each other everything, and you love each other before yourself. These are the marriages made in Heaven. When you do that as a couple, Christ’s love will flow onto others. We have found that those of us who live in harmony have the happiest and most fulfilling marriages.
It is a relationship whereby you do things equally, and you complement each other. You become a team helping each other, and encouraging each other. See how both men and women are one in Jesus.
Galatians 3:28: (KJV): There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
When both a husband and wife are Christians, the husband and wife have to live to do Jesus’ Will, and not their own. They ought to pray before making decisions and let Jesus decide what they should do. Jesus can tell the husband or wife what he wants them to do. God wants a husband and wife to be united by being one. That was why God didn’t want the married couple to live with the husband’s family because they interfere in a marriage.
When you are one it isn’t just physically, but you think and feel alike, as you are both so close that you are part of each other and are also soul friends. You do everything equally as a team with no one above the other but only according to the gifts and talents that God has given you.
Christian women are above the law, and not under it. When that happens they do everything out of love for Jesus and their husband, rather than out of obligation. A husband and wife are not each other’s doormats. If you treat each other in such a way you are not united into one flesh, but are two separate individuals, and it is not showing love. See the following passages:
Matthew 19:5 (KJV): 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
See the following Bible passage on Adam and Eve which says the same thing in Genesis 2:24
When you make each other happy you are making Jesus happy because Jesus said whatever you do to another person, you do to Him as seen in Matthew 25:40
In the following passage Jesus tells us that the greatest Commandment is to love God and the second to love your neighbour as yourself as seen in Matthew 22:36-40
These commandments have not been obeyed. We have a lot of men and women who have been emotionally abused because their spouses felt that they had the right to be dictatorial, and so have treated them as slaves while thinking that in doing so they were behaving as Christians. It isn’t God’s will for people to be treated like that. God is a God of love and He wants everyone to be treated with love and respect. It isn’t only men who are to be respected, but women too because women are not second-class citizens.
Faith is a personal thing and everyone has his or her own spirituality. A husband or wife must not depend on each other to be taught about faith, instead let Jesus be the teacher. Have a personal, intimate relationship with Him through the Holy Spirit, for He is your best friend. Read about Jesus in the Gospels where He is the Bread of Life. See the following scriptures, which says God should teach us.
John 6:45 (KJV): 45It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me.
John 14:26 (KJV): 26But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
Couples ought to be soul friends and help each other on the pathway to Heaven and drag each other away from sin. When a couple are in unity with God and each other, they live in peace and harmony and Jesus’ power reins supremely in their hearts. They become such lights that they are God’s instruments, which draw others to Him. They therefore become very formidable soldiers, who fight for Christ. Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy that split you up and make you row, but instead listen to Jesus and stay strong by being in unity with the Holy Trinity. If there is a war and the soldiers work in a team they are stronger than those who don’t co-operate with each other. That is the same with Christianity, and that is why the evil one has created havoc with marriages causing many divorces. Let us stop that now and team up as couples, who are God’s warriors, and who are victorious in fighting the enemy and slaying him, by spreading love, peace and harmony in the world.
Written by Marie-Helene and Dominic Bradshaw